Rise Like a Phoenix – Conchita Wurst: The Best Bond Theme That Never Was

Dignified and defiant

Song composers: Charley Mason, Joey Patulka, Ali Zuckowski, Julian Maas, Robin Grubert

Singer: Conchita Wurst
[Conchita Wurst is the female alter ego of Tom Neuwirth.]

[Quick Kinks connection. Another contender would be Ray Davies’s ‘Oh, What a Day It’s Going to Be’, performed here by Mo and Steve (whoever they might be). I think this is the closest Ray ever got to the Bond oeuvre, for overblown passion, bordering on the histrionic.]

Conchita: 'I'm just a singer in a fabulous dress, with great hair and a beard.'

Conchita: 'It's just art.''

I didn’t encounter the phenomenon that is Conchita until this year, not being a huge Eurovision fan, when I caught the Eurovision’s Greatest Hits programme. In 2014, Conchita Wurst won the Eurovision Song Contest for Austria, with ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’, her victory a testament to tolerance and a tribute to her inordinately disarming personality and incredible charisma as much as her voice and the song (and to persistence as it looks like this was her second attempt at Eurovision; in 2012, she narrowly missed out on representing Austria with 'That's What I Am' and specialises in delivering inspirational, life-affirming songs, such as 'Unbreakable' and 'You Are Unstoppable', with total conviction, although ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’ is the only one that sounds like it should be played over Bond credits).

I think there’s a real case for ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’ to be the theme for the next film in the Bond franchise. I’m by no means the first person to think so – just search on YouTube for ‘Rise Like a Phoenix 007’ and you’ll see what I mean. You could even call the movie Phoenix, in the tradition of the one-word title. Ok, there’s no tradition yet but who says there can't be? We had Skyfall and now Spectre. It even sounds like a Bond title, making reference to a fantastic, mythical creature (much like Conchita herself) rising from the flame (you only live twice and all that). Oh, I'm so annoyed. Someone's just released a film called Phoenix.

Golden Lady I

This song seems to have been written with Bond in mind, with all the requisite elements – the lush soundscape and accomplished arrangement of an archetypal Bond theme.  Reminiscent of those glorious John Barry anthems, immortalised by Dame Shirley Bassey, ‘Goldfinger’ (lyrics: Leslie Bricusse/Anthony Newley; coincidentally this and another Bassey classic, 'This Is My Life' (Bruno Canfora/Antonio Amurri/Norman Newell) were sung by Tom Neuwirth on a talent show – there's evidently an affinity over and above their fashion sense; Shirley's version rocks) and ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ (lyrics: Don Black; here's The X Factor's Aiden Grimshaw’s more electronic take), with all the heightened melodrama and emotion of the thwarted diva destined to rise resplendent. I gather that Barry used to ‘Bondify’ (my term) the other artists' songs so that they fitted his aural vision for the Bond canon. All the themes have a particular feel, an elusive essence that is as hard to define as it is easy to recognise. It’s as if ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’ has already undergone this process; it's already perfect.

[John Barry composed many unforgettable movie themes – the incredibly touching ‘Born Free’ which I never hear without shedding a tear, the gorgeously romantic and evocative ‘Out of Africa’.]

Golden Lady II

With the subjects of metamorphosis, transformation, self-realisation and adversity overcome as well as the promise of retribution, it could fit any movie script but is perhaps particularly apposite to a Bond narrative. Like other Bond numbers, it can be appreciated and understood on a personal and a universal level as a hymn to resilience, resurgence and self-empowerment. Bold, fearless and unrepentant. Hearing and looking at Conchita, you can't help but be reminded of Gloria Gaynor’s paean to individuality ‘I Am What I Am’ a little, in particular, the line ‘I am my own special creation’.

The lavish orchestration and Conchita’s perfect vocal delivery emulate and almost exceed those Shirley Bassey numbers but the lyrics and Conchita’s unique image (although there are some parallels with Dame Shirley here too, as can be seen in the pictures) – magnificent, figure-hugging floor-length gowns, the old-school glamour of the night-club siren, combined with full make-up (her make-up video on YouTube has had three million views; Shirley didn’t shirk on make-up either) and beard – help to reinvent and revitalise this tried and tested template for a new era. A daring blend of the familiar and the innovative that challenges the norms, just as any movie franchise should after fifty-odd years.

Make-up tutorial

'Waking in the rubble/Walking over glass/Neighbours say we're trouble/Well that time has passed/Peering from the mirror/No, that isn't me/Stranger getting nearer/Who can this person be?/You wouldn't know me at all today/From the fading light I fly'

A sweeping string intro before a muted piano accompaniment to Conchita’s at first deliberately portentous and subdued vocal, building excitement and the sense that something is about to happen. Cue the chorus.

Not one to shirk the make-up

'Rise like a phoenix/Out of the ashes/Seeking rather than vengeance/Retribution/You were warned/Once I'm transformed/Once I'm reborn/You know I will rise like a phoenix/But you're my flame'

Conchita exudes mystery and sex appeal as well as an engaging blend of strength and vulnerability. Her utterly commanding interpretation makes the most of the majestic chord change for the obligatory soaring and triumphant crescendo of the chorus: proud, fierce, conveyed with defiant dignity. Or even dignified defiance.

‘Go about your business/Act as if you're free/No one could have witnessed/What you did to me’

The suspenseful strings here could easily be lifted and used as build-up to a thrilling Bond set piece.

The next Bond villain?

'I rise up to the sky/You threw me down but/I'm gonna fly'

The finale is suitably grandiose and simply glorious. Conchita's control is absolute.

When asked if she would like to play a Bond girl, Conchita  replied:

'No, that would mean nothing to me. But I would love to play a Bond villain, who fights to the very end.'

To be continued I hope.

A Radio Times poll has Conchita as an overwhelming favourite to sing the next Bond number. She scores nearly 82 percent, with her nearest rival on about 2 percent. That’s a pretty convincing win.

Tom Neuwirth

Here's a poem that captures the Conchita effect.

[I’m a bit confused about my reaction to Conchita. I’m a straight woman (though sometimes wish I wasn't) but I find the Conchita persona completely captivating even though she’s a man (yes pronouns don’t really work with Conchita), dressed and made up like a woman (hyper feminine and always elegant) with a beard. Of course, Conchita is really a gay man in drag (Tom Neuwirth) but still I wonder, is it just me? Or do some people’s charms simply override usual gender preferences? I sort of fancy Conchita but I don’t fancy Tom.] 

Never less than ravishing

Christian Kane – Covered in Glory

Musician

I’m a huge fan of Christian Kane and his original songs but I also really love his interpretations of other people’s. He puts his heart and soul into anything he chooses to sing. Country music isn’t a big deal in the UK so I often hear Christian’s versions of a song before I encounter the original and discover that I don’t like it as much. Weird, because I’m usually someone who’s a stickler for the original, for instance, Judy Garland – Over the Rainbow; Frank Sinatra – Well, anything Frank did really. I don’t like the watered-down, limp versions common in the charts today – usually by fey songstresses with affected, insipid vocals, popularised by their ubiquity in adverts: Ellie Goulding’s bafflingly turgid Your Song; Lily Allen’s total crucifixion of Somewhere Only We Know; that awful, soulless Wherever You Will Go by Charlene Soraia.* Whereas these seem to drain the life and spirit out of the song, Christian Kane does the opposite. He invests them with more emotion and verve, making the originals sound just a little colourless in comparison. His voice is a gift – unique but with echoes of Elvis, reverberations of Springsteen. It has a depth and resonance that can reinvigorate an old song, making it seem contemporary and new and real. And it appears totally effortless. His original material showcases his talents even better but that's another blog.

* Of course there are exceptions – Adele’s Make You Feel My Love; the Byrds’ Tambourine Man; Timothy B. Schmit’s Caroline No; the Eagles’ Ol’ 55, Poco's Magnolia.

Apologies if any of these aren’t the originals you know. I’ve tried to put down the writer when I thought it relevant. Links are in the words ‘Original’ and ‘Kane’ if you want to hear what I’m talking about. Obviously Christian Kane has covered ‘ songs live that I haven’t included e.g. Sweet Home Alabama, either because I haven’t heard them, couldn’t find a good version of them or he hasn’t played them that often. 

Actor

Fast Car

Original: Tracy Chapman 

Unstoppable rhythm and melody, compelling narrative. I love her deep voice. It has a certain intensity and immediacy.

Kane studio; Kane live: A little hard to listen to owing to the enthusiastic fans singing along and occasionally drowning him out (he loves it). He still sounds tender and true. Plaintive and melancholy but that natural growl lets you know he’s no pushover.

You got a fast car/I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we can make a deal/Maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better/Starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something/Me myself I got nothing to prove

The One I Love 

Original: David Gray

I’ve got to admit that I’m not a fan of his voice, thought he bleated like a lamb on his big hit This Year’s Love but this is better.

Kane: ‘Somebody else wrote this but it’s one of my favourite songs’. More rough tenderness, he always sounds as if he’s lived what he’s singing. Passion and restraint.

Next wave coming in/Like an ocean roar/Won't you take my hand darling/On that old dance floor/We can twist and shout/Do the turtle dove/And you're the one I love/You're the one I love

Wary and suspicious

I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man

Original: Prince 

The single is bouncy, infectious, unputdownable although I couldn't find it on YouTube.

Kane: This doesn’t completely work countrified (not sure about the fiddle) but it’s very lively and upbeat and it's plain CK identifies with the sentiment.

I asked her if she wanted to dance/And she said that/All she wanted was a good man/And wanted to know/If I thought I was qualified/And I said baby don't waste your time/I know what's on your mind/I may be qualified for a one night stand/But I could never take the place of your man

Mid-party?

Jolene

Original: Ray LaMontagne

Low-key, breathy, mournful but, combined with his very deliberate phrasing, it sounds a little affected.

Kane: ‘It had so much to do with my life – I just fell in love with it’. In Christian’s earnest, heartfelt rendition, there’s a memory of anguish, hard times and misguided youth that makes it affecting.

I found myself face down in the ditch/Booze on my hair/Blood on my lips/A picture of you, holding a picture of me/In the pocket of my blue jeans/Still don't know what love means

Drift Away

Original: Dobie Gray (written by Mentor Williams) Easy-going, laidback, likeable.

Kane: There’s palpable joy in the energy and exuberance in his version.

Thanks for the joy that you've given me/I want you to know I believe in your song/And rhythm and rhyme and harmony/You've helped me along/Makin' me strong/Oh, give me the beat, boys and free my soul/I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Part cowboy

Should’ve Been a Cowboy

Original: Toby Keith

I can't really fault this. Jaunty and upbeat, a country no.1 in 1993.

Kane:‘I lost country for a while. This is the one of the songs that brought me back.’  Part-cowboy, part-Cherokee, CK rocks out, breathing new life into this song.

I should've been a cowboy/I should've learned to rope and ride/Wearing my six-shooter riding my pony on a cattle drive

Luckenbach, Texas

Original: Waylon Jennings (written by Chips Moman and Bobby Emmons), a country no. 1 in 1977.Easy-listening, old-school country.

Kane: Christian reinvents this; it barrels along with enthusiasm and gruff charm and something about his tone really reminds me of Elvis.

The only two things in life/That make it worth livin'/Is guitars to tune good/And firm feelin' women

Part Cherokee

The Dance

Original: Garth Brooks (written by Tony Arata)

Sort of middle of the road, pleasant and inoffensive, Garth has a nice, even tone that’s easy to listen to.

Kane: Only a tiny clip of this. I’d kill to hear more as this is a great appetiser. There’s a depth of experience in the few lines we have here and that twang of a Texan accent on the last word kills me. Also rate Scotty McCreery’s version which, despite his youth, still has gravitas, although not the rueful quality of the Christian snippet.

And now I'm glad I didn't know/The way it all would end the way it all would go/Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain/But I'd have had to miss the dance

Redneck Side of Me

Original: Jamey Johnson (written by Jerrod Niemann)

The instrumentation is wonderful (is that an organ at the beginning?) but the vocal sounds sort of creepy, like a bad uncle, someone you wouldn't want to meet on a dark night and is too much on one level, there’s not enough drama. Great accent though.

Kane: Again, only a tantalising snippet,. In a couple of minutes, he conveys a promise, a threat, gentleness. Listen to the line: ‘I never hunted 'gators in the Everglades’. The softness and timbre of his voice make my throat quiver. 

I never was a roughneck pumpin' crude down the line/An' I ain't logged no timber, sawin’ on them Georgia pines/I can't mix the best batch of etouffee/I never hunted 'gators in the Everglades

(Aside from Wikipedia: Étouffée or etouffee is a dish found in both Cajun and Creole cuisine typically served with shellfish over rice.)

'Country music has always been first and foremost in my heart'

I think my main point is that Christian Kane always sounds more than credible because he chooses songs that mean something to him. And he can sing anything. I’m mystified as to why he hasn’t had a huge hit although I know that talent doesn’t always translate into success and am probably not the best placed person to try to fathom the machinations of the country music business. But he’s personable and appealing and let’s face it, fine-looking. By rights, he should have ‘made it’ with any of his original songs, such as A Different Kind of Knight, America High, Rattlesnake Smile or with Let Me Go (written by Casey Beathard and Tom Shapiro), which he begged to be allowed to sing. Part of me thinks it’s because he has more than one string to his bow being an actor too (maybe Nashville doesn’t like the fact that he isn’t solely a musician, that he wants to have his cake and eat it too); part of me thinks it’s owing to the extreme dedication of his fanbase (to some extent drawn from fans of his acting that have got into the music) – it’s possible that this contributes to the mainstream country/rock industry’s failure to take him seriously; or perhaps he’s just refusing to play by the rules. I’ve been watching Nashville and wondering why he hasn’t got one of the major roles. Perhaps they wanted musical newcomers but he would be a shoo-in for a recurring cameo of a roughneck country rocker, perhaps on the wrong side of the law.

Could it be?

I’ll end with this exchange, which sort of sums Christian Kane’s music up.

My Dad asked me what Christian Kane's music was like. I said 'It's country rock' and he said 'Like the Eagles?' I said 'More country' and my sister added 'And more rock'.

Perhaps he’s just too much of each to be fully accepted by either (having played to rock audiences at the Viper Room). But they say this is The Year of Kane. 

He also features in another blog of mine:

http://sshh-sshh.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/opinion8-songs-about-school.html.

Another blogger’s take on CK live: http://bashfulbadgersblog.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/christian-kane-rocks-out-at-the-jazz-cafe-in-camden/.

Thanks to Wikipedia, Kane Nation, A-Z Lyrics Universe and CMT. 

Christian Kane’s music is available from: www.ChristianKane.com.